A Complete Beginner’s Guide to Scissoring

Here’s another great post from Cosmopolitan…

My most memorable scissoring experience went a little something like this: my girlfriend and I took a trip to New York after a few hectic weeks. Until our trip, our sex life consisted of us falling asleep mid-cowgirl. To prep for our trip, I watched a lot of porn on sites like pornbl to dream up ideas of everything we could possibly want to try. And scissoring, a proper, extended bout of scissoring, was on the top of my agenda.

Once we got to the hotel, I put my knowledge to the test. We negotiated our way onto our sides with our legs intertwined. We squirmed. We jostled. We started to pant because we were tired. We took frequent water breaks. Once we found a delicious pace my girlfriend yelled a lot and so I did. I had an orgasm, she had an orgasm…and also a charlie horse. Neither of us were prepared for that. (She was fine afterwards, I promise.) But in the spirit of unexpected lessons, here’s everything you need to know about how to scissor.

1. Get in formation.
First off, make a peace sign with your left hand and right hand. Then go “snip snip” with your fingers (kidding!). But actually, orient your fingers so the two pairs of scissors interlock. There we have the glorious tangle of limbs generally known as scissoring. This is a pretty typical version of the position, which involves two bodies reclining on their sides and grinding, swiveling, and rubbing pelvic bones, ideally until you orgasm.

2. There’s more than one way to do it.
Scissoring is a wonderfully customizable position. And even though it’s most often associated with same-sex women couples, you can try it with whatever parts you’re working with. For some that’s two vulvas, for some that’s a vulva and a penis, for some that’s a penis and a penis, or literally any other combo. Saida Agostini, a Baltimore-based social worker and activist working to end rape culture explains, “It can be amazing rubbing genital to genital. But another thing that can be amazing is rubbing against a leg or chest. It can be missionary, it can be one person on top, doggy style, or penetration can be involved. As long as it’s consensual there is no wrong way.” For example, you can try straddling your partner while they lie on their back. Putting one leg between theirs, try slowly rubbing your vulva on their thigh. So standing, kneeling, face to face, back to back, with or without toys you, you do you and change things up as necessary.

3. Stretch first. Seriously.
Anyone attempting to scissor shouldn’t be alarmed to find it’s an active position. You’ll be rubbing-NOT POUNDING, PLEASE THINK OF YOUR POOR PELVIC BONES!-against one another, which means searching for leverage, finding it, and moving your bodies until you find a fantastic rhythm. You will use your arms, legs, torso, head, shoulders, knees, and toes (okay maybe not all of that). Agostini gently advises, “It can be a lot of effort. So usually it is helpful to have someone who is a little bit flexible guide the work.” But even if you are both new, take a few minutes to stretch your legs and arms. charlie horses kinda kill the mood.

4. Oh, by the way.
Scissoring is not the only way queer women have sex. Scissoring is not the only way queer people have sex. Scissoring is not the only way bon-binary people have sex. Scissoring is not a queer-only position. Straight people may also scissor. Just in case that wasn’t abundantly clear already.

5. Gentle reminder: lube exists.
If you’re rubbing against a surface that has hair, like genitals, a chest, a leg, etc, you might want to add some lube to reduce any unwanted pulling or chafing. Sites like https://www.sextoyinsider.com/best-sex-lubricant/ can help you choose the most appropriate and enjoyable lube to use. Lubes can come in a variety of forms, from flavored to different sensations so it’s important to find the right one so that it doesn’t irritate you and cause you discomfort whilst being intimate. For more information, Continue reading here.

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